1 week Post-Op

Here is my update - 1 week post op! It has been a long and very challenging week. I have already been through what many others have described as depression, day-time-TV blahs, feeling of being cooped up, crawling the walls because you can't do anything, anxious because you can't do anything on your own and have to ask for help ... I've now been there and can understand what they were talking about.

The other day I got really sick, and am thinking it was due to my inability to release the toxins out of my system (trying to choose words carefully here), which is what anesthesia can sometimes prohibit you from being able to do. Once that was taken care of, the nausea and vomiting went away. Then came the acid reflux. I'm not one who has ever had a problem with this in the past, so considering I am not eating much to begin with, still can't figure out why I'm having a problem with this other than I wasn't getting up and moving around. Nonetheless, this is still a pain. Then there is the abdominal pains (for obvious reasons - things are still not back to normal yet). Then there are the chest pains (granted, getting better) caused again from not moving around and taking deep breaths. Trying to do better on that. Then the kids - Jonathan is acting up at summer camp (he's my 5 1/2 year old), and Kathryn (who is 3) has been having accidents in her bed at night (which she hasn't done in nearly a year I might add!) - the kids are starting to not understand what's going on. They see me lying in this rented hospital bed downstairs WAY too much, they never see me up and around. Kathryn asked me on 2 separate occasions last night ... "will you come with me upstairs to get.." and I had to say no, honey - I can't. Then she would say "can you pick me up to get ..." and again my answer was no honey, I'm sorry. Jonathan asked the other day "will our family be like this forever, with mommy downstairs?". Let me tell you - this broke my heart. They can't really grasp the concept of "no, this is just for 2-3 months". They can't understand if that's a long time or not. I broke down into tears last night after they kissed me goodnight and went upstairs to get their jammies on get tucked into bed. Oh the things we take for granted sometimes.

The dressing from the incisions came off yesterday and everything is healing superbly. I was S-H-O-C-K-E-D to see what the damage was. We're talking 12+ inch long incision, because of them having to get full exposure to my hip and dislocate/relocate it as well. Other women have posted pictures of their incision and they don't seem to be quite as far down the thigh as mine, but of course I had some extra special things done in my procedure that others may not have had. Lucky me ...

Last night I think I hit a breaking point, or perhaps a breaking-DOWN point. Everything had come to a head and some pretty big depression and self-pity started coming into play. This depression was turning into anger, which manifested itself today into determination. I stayed awake for my 10pm dose of Percaset, then realized I needed to use the restroom. The one thing I have NOT been able to do this past week (well, other than just about everything) has been to get both feet into bed after I have gotten up. I just don't have the muscle dexterity in my upper thigh to raise it and always needed someone to lift it up for me. Well, I got so pissed off last night that I yanked my leg into bed myself (knowing everyone else was asleep at this point). After I wallowed in tears for a while from the pain, I realized "hey, I did it!". I got a pretty good nights sleep after that.

Today my mom came to visit and helped me take a bath (using the shower seat and shower wand she and her husband installed), wash my hair, brush my teeth, wheeled me in the wheelchair out on the front porch where we enjoyed the breeze, fresh air, and talked about everything ... I felt so refreshed. Oh, have to mention I had a nice cup of Starbucks coffee in my hand. :) That always helps! Home Physical Therapy came by at noon today, and it was also a positive visit.

• Improving my ability to hop with a walker for longer distances (i.e. down a hallway) - still toe-touch weight ONLY on right leg. While vertical, on the walker for example, my right leg feels like it weighs a TON and I feel all that gravity pulling down on my fragile hip being held together by 7 screws. Scares me a bit.
• Able to swing both legs out of bed and stand up to a walker more easily than before
• While sitting on sofa, can lift my right leg to a straight position (equal with my knee/thigh) - This was a HUGE accomplishment that I didn't realize I could do yet!
• With both legs elevated in front of me on a recliner, can slowly move my operated leg from left to right (not without pain though - you are basically moving your hip in it's socket from left to right, so understandably there is pain from the hip down through the thigh and into the knee)

Now that it's nearly 2:30, I think I'm going to enjoy the accomplishments of the day, try to take a little nap, keep my mental state in-check so that I don't dip into that nasty, dark, lonely, fearsome place again, and look forward to seeing the kids reactions this afternoon that mommy is not in her little room - she's actually in the den and looking somewhat normal!

Hip, Hip Hooray ...