What a week!

It has been a roller-coaster of a week, so I'm just now getting around to providing an update!

My 12.5 week check-up went really well on Monday. Here's how it went. My husband and 5 year old son were there with me. First, a younger resident-type doc came in and asked how I was doing, showed me the xrays, etc. He seemed a bit nervous and didn't seem too "schooled" on PAO's, but that was ok because I knew the "real deal" would be talking to me later. :-) This younger doc asked "can I see you walk?". I said, "um, really? Are you sure?". Afterall, I have not even TRIED to walk since my surgery in July. I gave it a whirl ... and though wobbly, I walked around a little in the room! My son was thrilled!! This doc told me the outer edge of my hip (by one of the breaks) had some extra bone healing on the outside that we would have to keep an eye on. Not sure what that means, or what it "could" mean later on ... he didn't explain ...

So then we waited for Dr. Kregor to come in. As to the xrays, all of the load-bearing bones seem to be healing nicely, and there is a non-load bearing bone (inside the pelvic cavity, perhaps by the tailbone) that has not healed but he said I could start weening off my 1 crutch!!! I was ecstatic. I am to continue PT for another 7-8 weeks until I see him again, and was told as to the wobblyness and range of motion that it could take up to a year before I'm 100%. I am still having low back pain and hip flexor/groin pain when lifting my knee or crossing it over to put socks on, but I guess that will just go away with time. It was still good to hear it from Dr. Kregor that there's no huge concern, just takes time. Whew.

So, I had my son carry my 1 crutch out of the building ... and I walked (well, limped). I was holding back the tears (not of pain, of JOY) all the way to the car. What freedom! What elation! My hip area and upper thigh was really sore while I was walking, but it was ok! I realized that while I thought I was doing about 75% weight bearing with 1 crutch, that wasn't the case. I didn't remember what 100% was until I actually started to walk on it ... and then realized I have a long way to go on strengthening those muscles. On the way to the car, my son told me in regards to not using a crutch "Kathryn is going to be SOO surprised!".

When I got to work I was really wishing I had remembered to bring my cane in, but nonetheless decided to just "walk" in. I was turning heads left and right, and my team was very excited for me! They could see the smile on my face as it was beaming with happiness and joined in on the happiness with me. I limped for the rest of the day, but thought all in all this was ok and I would enjoy resting when I got to bed that night!

I went to pick up my 3 year old daughter from school. I walked in, and she immediately stood there and just looked at me for a minute. She got a big smile on her face and said "Mommy? Where's your cwutch?". I told her I didn't need it anymore, and she got real excited ... turned to her teacher and said "My Mommy can walk!". The late-afternoon teacher in the room didn't know what she was talking about, since she doesn't really know me, but I knew. My heart melted. Kathryn and I held hands all the way to the car (which is not something you can do while on crutches). I will never forget that moment.

At home Monday night, I REALLY enjoyed walking around the kitchen helping to get dinner ready. I was amazed at how much faster I could get things ready when I had 2 hands free versus 1! John enjoyed me helping as well, I think. :-) Again, it was nice to be a little more mobile. Going up and down stairs (using the rail, of course) was also surprisingly easy.

I wake up Tuesday morning and head over for PT. I had the cane in the car, knowing I would need it at work ... yet didn't carry it into PT. They were all surprised to see me walk in! It felt really good. I started my 10 minutes on the stationary bike as usual, then proceed to the table to do my leg lift exercises while lying down. I did 20 straight leg lifts from my back. Yeeeah. Then rolled onto my left side, to do the leg lifts with my right leg and was told to do 20. When I got to number 16, I heard 2 quick pops and immediately lowered my leg. Now, I've heard some occasional snap/crackle/pops in my right hip area before since surgery, but since they never hurt ... I figured it was normal. These 2 pops were NOT normal, and were VERY painful. I told my therapist what happened, generally where it was, and we moved on to other exercises to try and isolate what I "could" do versus what I "couldn't" do. We were able to do some other exercises, but I could NOT do anything standing (at least nothing putting weight on my right leg) without huge pain.

She put me in a closed-door room, and tried some negatively charged compound on these electrode pad things to try and calm the muscle down. She put 2 pads on me, one in the groin area and one further up the hip, and zapped me for about 10 minutes. These pads had some sort of anti-inflammatory medication inside it that was supposed to draw itself down into the muscle. Along with that, she wrapped my hip up with ice while that was going on. As the day went on, I found it didn't help the pain. And wouldn't you know, I didn't have a crutch in the car ... just the cane. I was in so much pain walking around even with the cane that I left work early and worked from home ... tail between my legs ... angry that I had done something and set myself back ... and worried that something was horribly wrong.

I emailed Dr. Kregor about this, and he didn't seem too concerned that it was a significant muscle tear, and to take it easy for a week or so and also cut back on PT for a bit. It's now Friday, and I think it's actually feeling better. I have swallowed my pride and have been constantly using the 1 crutch again, and while walking I will allow myself to put a little more weight on the right side. There is still muscle soreness that wraps around from the top of my thigh around to the back of my hip, but I'm being cognizant of the pain and being gradual on putting a little more weight on it. I will probably hold off on PT next week, just to make SURE everything is ok, before we hit it again with weights and strengthening. Once again, it was such a relief to get the email from Dr. Kregor ... as I know nothing about muscles and bones and what is serious and what isn't.

I have had a few friends remind me in the last few days that I have had major surgery and that it takes time to heal. I've never had to take THIS long to heal from ANYTHING (of course, the only other surgeries I've had were 2 c-sections), and my patience is truly being tested. It's hard to be patient with something like recovering from hip surgery when you have a full time job, 2 small children who are active, and when you have other obligations outside of work. It has really been hard to keep my head up and realize how far I've come (thanks, SuSu and Mom for the reminder). I have to keep praying that God will keep me strong (mentally as well as physically) and will give me the patience that I've run out of in order to keep a steady pace of beginning to walk again and not try to rush it. Heaven knows I don't want another setback ...

I'm hoping that perhaps later this weekend ... or early next week ... I'll muster up the courage to try to use the cane again. Just have to make sure I don't damage those muscles. At this point I think I can recognize "bad" muscle pain versus "good" muscle pain! The "good" muscle pain is pain that exudes itself as "I'm weak". "Bad" muscle pain seems to be the kind that is sharp and says "get off me!!!". :-)

Day by day ... gotta "stay the course" ... "slow and steady" ... (in the words of one of my favorite StarTrek captains, Cpt. Jean Luc Picard)